you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Randomize
