he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
