You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
