I heard we made out
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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