hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
false alarm, still single
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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