this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
