A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
