i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
