if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
