Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
