Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
