I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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