You just made me feel so damn special
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
