ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
