I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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