Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
