Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
vagina is talking i cant
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
