bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
