she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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