I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
