ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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