Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
