Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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