After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
