I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
