Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
