on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
