I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just had sex on a roof
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
