His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
