How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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