you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
