Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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