that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Slut skills are useful in every country.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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