ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Randomize
