Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
How's work?
Spinning.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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