found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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