He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
