I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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