their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
