The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
