We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
