Me. At least after what I've been through.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Randomize
