I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
her vagine was all disorganized.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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