never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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