sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Where is the hickey?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
