On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
