i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he thought i was a dude.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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