she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
