no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
