we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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