Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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