It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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