So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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