Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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